


It Is Alright To Be A Bit Paranoid About Whether You Really Understand What Somebody Else Is Saying

by FELover



Category: Gintama
Genre: A bit of existential angsting, Breaking the Fourth Wall, F/M, Failed attempt at Romance, Reader-Insert, Stupid References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 19:06:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3458444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FELover/pseuds/FELover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stargazing would be an excellent method of blissing through life. To bad Gin isn't that into such activities. </p><p>If you don't know Fire Emblem: Awakening, or Bakemonogatary, or hate English classes at school, you really aren't going to enjoy this fanfic. It's mostly filled with nonsense and weird references. XD</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Is Alright To Be A Bit Paranoid About Whether You Really Understand What Somebody Else Is Saying

"There's Betelgeuse in Orion's left shoulder and Rigel is at his foot." You uttered, your left hand outstretched and pointing upwards at the constellations as your index trailed imaginary lines, as if this would help Gin see the figures clearly.   
  
"Mhm," he hummed, trying to feign interest.   
  
"What's the matter? Not interested?"  
  
"You are being unfair, dear. How would you feel if I took you to a ride in a fetish train for your birthday? I could spend hours drilling erotic stories into your ears and you'd have no option but to listen and force yourself to enjoy it because I spent a month's wage on the tickets with the hope of rekindling our animal passion."  
  
"What is a fetish train?"

  
 **[THE DARKNESS]**

  
"But then two guys dressed like octopodes come and hand us leather suits and tell us that it's all part of the program. And then you get mad and I try explaining that I didn't know this would be a sausage fest. If I did I probably would have demanded an equal, instead of a proportional, representation of both sexes-"  
  
"Gin! You shouldn't say 'octopodes' when you could use a more popular plural form of 'octopus'; like 'octopuses' or 'octopi'. It's okay to use brainy words if you're talking with English majors, because they might understand you're trying be faithful to the word's Greek roots, but the rest of the people who don't give a crap will get confused and angry due to mental strain!. Do you want to alienate the readers to such degrees? And are you saying that stargazing with me is the same as having a traumatic experience at a pervert's train ride?"  
  
The arm under your head, which was serving as some sort of gross flesh pillow, shifted with unease and a tired groan made you look up to meet Gin's droopy eyes.   
  
"In the end, if you consider it, it really doesn't matter what I was implying, since the example I used as my roundabout way of saying I'm no too thrilled about stargazing is nothing but a hypothetical scenario with negative chances of ever happening."

  
 **[RED PANEL]**

 

You lift yourself up and rest your head on your palm, whilst your elbow buries itself into the ground to grant you support. "But Gin, if that scenario has negative chances of happening, wouldn't you say there is a plane of opposites in the universal grid of existence where you and I are, maybe at this very instant, being subjected to degrading sexual acts that could be televised without problem due to ridiculous censorship laws? Japan is weird like that; as long as P is for penetration without penises, it's all cool."  
  
Gin mirrored your position, adjusting his... glasses. Glasses that came out of nowhere but looked damn good on him. Why, if you weren't trying to pin him to a hypothetical wall you'd pin him to the ground and force him to pretend he was reading Machiavelli, just because the mere thought made you shiver internally.   
  
"What's wrong? Are you cold? Here, have my professor's coat."  
  
You took said coat with a muttered thanks.  
  
Gin continued with his argument.  
  
"Even if I forced myself to validate that non-Euclidian geometry theory that sf authors clutch like the wholly grail to explaining flawed plots of parallel realities, I still say the scenario is irrelevant, since it'd be happening in an entirely different plane of existence and whomever lives in it is an independent entity, whose decisions are invariably unable to be tied to those of its opposite's, who lives in this part of the grid."  
  
"But if the two people who are living in opposite sides of existence are opposites because they behave in opposite ways, would you not say that their every action is connected beyond their power? That some mighty natural force of the universe connects them so that their actions are opposite? In such a case, what you would think is your arbitrary will might in fact be a generated response to that of your opposite's."

  
 **[0,0:12:47.95,0:12:48.45,AnimationNumber,,0000,0000,0000,,AnimationNumber 229]**

  
"What do you think this is-a video game? You can't go around philosophizing about free will if you don't believe in free will! A nihilist philosopher is as unattractive as a those ugly pom beanie winter hats you find in Amazon."  
  
Your hand makes an unnatural smack against the ground as you slam it down. "Objection! You can't talk about the supposed ugliness of winter hats when beauty is an intricate subjective matter."  
  
"A big part of the population agrees that most knitted winter wear is more cringe-inducing than looking at a plumber's butt crack!"  
  
"Yet this clothing is sold successfully because of its very supposed ugliness!"

  
 **[SUCH DISTANCE. THE TRUTH. MY PRIDE.]**

 

"We are discussing the subjective attractiveness of a winter hat when the primary topic of the conversation started off rather erotically. I must say, we are a pair of idiots for allowing our injured prides to prevent us from admitting the real issue. You wanted to know if I hated stargazing with you?"  
  
You nod, your eyes hooded and a fine blush staining your cheeks like powder.   
  
"I don't. It was a hard day at work."  
  
"I'm sorry dear. Did those awful kids torture you at class?"  
  
Gin plops down on his back. You nuzzle your cheek into his chest.   
  
"I don't take cosplay as seriously as to actually care about a bunch of wannabe misfits or what they think. I forgot my lunch at home, is all."  
  
"I thought you left it because you don't like pickles."  
  
"Even if that's the case, I love your wagashi. You even make it look like pikmins's heads. I could never leave a lunch that included your wagashi. Eating it makes me feel like I'm beheading the cute little critters."  
  
"That's so nice of you to say Gin. I'll make them more often for you."  
  
Sighing, Gin trailed his palm up and down your arm.  
  
"You don't have to. Too much sweets aren't good for my health, and I want to grow old with you."  
  
"Don’t worry. I’m doing just fine. I would never leave you to fend for yourself."  
  
The smile on Gin's face was twisted with acrimony.   
  
"Oi, that line should have been mine. After all, Sugita voices me. Damn those unfitting relationship tile quotes, I can never get the right responses."  
  
"The universe doesn't want us to be together, is all."  
  
"Screw the universe. I'm a samurai."

  
 **[The End(of the universe)]**

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Yeah... Don't ask me. I wrote this very late at night. I got kinda lazy at the end too. Didn't know how to end it, so there you go. Meh. XD 
> 
>  
> 
> **[THE DARKNESS]**


End file.
